TACTics Journal

A Publication for and by TOC for Education Practitioners

March 10, 2000

NETWORKING

(1) THE NEVER ENDING STORY.... Chapter 4

From Kathy Suerken and Cheryl A. Edwards

Editor's Note: Parts 1-3 were published in TACTics: February 18, 25, and March 3 issues. They are available at <www.nwfl.net/suerken/toc/>

The following chapter is preceded by a workbook page with scaffolded questions to discuss common ways we use to solve a tug of war.

Chapter 4:

"Why don't we look at a very simple everyday problem to think through what we usually do to impact the problem," Cindy says. "Let's say you and your little brother are arguing over the TV."

"That's not a problem," Jim says. "I'm older. He does what I tell him to."

"How do you feel when someone bosses YOU around?" Cindy asks.

"Like an ex-girlfriend?" He looks Cindy right in the eye. "I'd say the people who are getting bossed resent it and, finally, they do something back."

"Even a little brother?" Cindy asks, ignoring his first question. "What do you think your brother will do if you just take over the TV?"

"Probably whine to my Mother and then she'll get on my case."

"NOW is it your problem?" Cindy asks. "Sometimes we don't notice when the problem is beginning because we think we have complete control of the solution without involving the other side. We ignore the first symptom, which is...” she checks to see if Jim remembers.

"A situation when you and someone else have wants that can't exist at the same time… I guess we could compromise right then. We both give in a little. This is the way I've been taught to solve those kinds of problems. Sometimes Mom does the compromising for us and makes us just take turns. My little brother gets control of the TV one day and I get it the next."

"Does that work?" Cindy checks.

"Not when I miss my favorite shows."

"Compromise means we are trying to solve the problem. Sometimes it works, but very often when we compromise we give up something that is really important to us. We're not just giving up what we want, we're also giving up something that we really need."

"Maybe that's why the same problems keep coming back? Jim questions.

(End of Chapter Four)

WIZDOM

(2) Diary of a Newbie in TACT Block

By Wong Siew Shan, Singapore

Kathy's note: Shan’s class received 6 three-hour sessions on the Cloud, NBrs with children, and PRT. These are the first two experiences she shared with me in writing.

24.2.2000 (After the first 3 hr. session on the cloud):

I know I have tact. In fact, I use it everyday at work and at home. It has stood me in good stead because I am very adept at that. But what is TACT? All I know is that it is an acronym for Thinking and Communication Tools. I have no idea what they are.

In the first session, I was amazed at the simplicity and clarity of the cloud. It seemed to work extremely well for the examples in the manual. The skeptic in me verbalized my reservations in my mind: "Don't be so easily taken in. Remember the last theory/model that got you all fired up? Do you still find it useful now?"

Refusing to be dampened, I thought about how the cloud could be used to solve the frequent conflicts I had with Caroline (my 11-year-old daughter). I was reading the TOC course manual in the evening when Caroline peered over my shoulders and asked, "What's that you're reading, Mum?" I thanked God for that little opening which gave me the courage to share the Cloud with her. Actually, I had wanted to tell her about the Cloud earlier but somehow “chickened out.” I justified my decision by claiming that I have not learnt enough to share in a meaningful way!

The speed at which Caroline understood the Cloud and its basic components was amazing. I could tell she was really interested. At the end of my sharing session, she asked, "So what's next? We have not solved the conflict yet, you know?"

"I'll share with you tomorrow night, after Session 2," I promised. I secretly hoped and prayed that we would get to work on our very own Cloud over the weekend.

26.2.2000:

I waited in great anticipation for the right moment when I could work with Caroline on one of our perennial conflicts. The time that I had waited for finally arrived. It was almost ten o'clock at night. I was reading the TACT manual. In fact it was like a replay of what happened on 24.2.2000.

I plucked up my courage and asked Caroline if she would like to work on a Cloud with me. As always, it never stops to amaze me how perceptive kids are. When asked what conflict she would like to work on, Caroline said, "Reading storybooks," without hesitation.

I used to just tell her, "Close your book and go and do your homework this very moment, or else...." And she would take the next half an hour or more to complete the page she was reading! It always got me so exasperated. Even when I managed to get her to start doing her homework, she did so grudgingly— as though she was doing me a big favour!

For once, we both talked about the issue rationally. First I sought to understand her needs. She verbalized them quite well. Largely, she did most of the thinking through— I only facilitated the process by asking her questions to focus her need and objective. Then she sought to understand my need for her to do her homework before she read her storybooks.

I never knew it was so difficult to verbalize my own needs! At one stage, I actually questioned myself, "Why do I need to impose my want on her when I can't even pinpoint my own need?" However, I persevered to clarify my own thoughts, encouraged by Caroline's patience and willingness to hear me out.

Finally, we managed to get down on paper our very first cloud.

It was a tremendously satisfying process. Somehow, we seemed to have grown closer over the short span of time we spent verbalizing and then visualizing each other's needs. We managed to get through the assumptions that each of us had. As we read back the respective side of the cloud to each other, we further refined and clarified our needs. It got both of us to listen to each other’s needs. We each felt validated and respected. I especially treasured the special bond I felt when Caroline's laughter filled the room when I surfaced my assumption that "stories are a distraction."

Laughter is really the medicine of the soul. We not only resolved our conflict (well almost— I didn't know yet how to do the injection!) but build a very positive relationship. Therein lies the power of TOC!"

More from Kathy! Since these experiences were written, Shan has done clouds between 2 students, with her remedial math class (group session) and with an entire assembly of 700 primary students! She has had the same empowering results with the NBr and the PRT, which she used to visualize obstacles in teaching a math concept! She has shared all of these experiences in writing— quite a fascinating, inspiring, and powerful manuscript! Shan and I are working through the PRT to ensure she is in Monterrey. In the meantime, thank you Shan for your courage and willingness to take the time to put everything in writing.

ELEMENTARY/SECONDARY TACTICS

(3) Wisdom Tools: An Introductory Lesson on the Cloud

By Warren R Foster, Cincinnati, Ohio, USA.

Editor’s Note: Please use this lesson as an example of how the Cloud can be used to help students understand the thinking of people they read about in history. Change the content to fit your needs. It was developed for use with 12-17 year old students.

Warren has an incredible Power Point presentation of this lesson that he is willing to share. Check it out at our TOC for Ed website: <www.nwfl.net/suerken/MtMoriah>. He would appreciate comments from anyone who uses it. Please send those comments to <FosterKayo@cs.com>

Title: An Introduction to the Wisdom Tools for Mt. Moriah

Part 1: Solomon asks for and is given wisdom

Read; Scriptures 1 Kings 3:4-9, The International Children’s Bible, New Century Version, 1986, (Solomon is given wisdom and understanding by the Lord.) Discuss implications.

Part 2: Solomon Faces a Problem

Read: Scriptures 1 Kings 3:16-23 (Two women come to Solomon both claiming that they are the mother of a living child and saying that the dead child belongs to the other women. Solomon must resolve the dispute. )

Solomon’s problem is defined as an Evaporating Cloud to the students:

A—> Come to a wise decision in this dispute

B—> Be merciful

C—> Give the baby to both women

D—> Be just

D’—> Give the baby to the real mother

Part 3: Students Finding Assumptions

B—>D: In order to be merciful, Solomon must give the baby to both women because they both want to take care of the baby. He doesn’t know who the real Mom is and they both claim the baby.

C—>D’: In order to be just, Solomon must give the baby to the real mother because she gave birth to it. The real mother knows the child’s needs. It belongs to the real mother.

D<—>D’: Solomon can not simultaneously give the baby to both women and the real mother because he doesn’t know who the real Mother is. The baby has only one mother; the real mother will be angry if she doesn’t get her baby. There is only one baby.

Discuss possible solutions based on assumptions.

Part 4 Solomon’s Solution

Read: Scriptures 1 Kings 3:24-28 (Solomon solves the problem by making assumptions)

Students discuss Solomon’s solution.

Part 5: A Student Problem

Students select a problem of their own. Should they adhere to the dress code or should they not adhere to the dress code

Students define the problem using the Evaporating Cloud:

A—> Successful Students

B—> Provide student safety

D—> Wear dress code

C—> Feel comfortable

D’—> Do not wear dress code

At this point, the 45 -minute session (planned for 60) is over.

To follow: the problem discussion based on—

1. Assumptions surfaced by students.

2. Injections created based on assumptions.

CONNECTIONS

Have You Made Your Plans Yet?

4th Annual TOC for Education International Conference

Sheraton Ambassador Hotel

Monterrey, Mexico

August 9-12, 2000

SE Michigan TOC for Education Conference

Saturday, March 11, 2000

Wayne State University

Detroit, Michigan USA

Republic of South Africa Regional Upgrade Mini-Conference

Tuesday, March 21, 2000

George, RSA

(5) QUOTE

“You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.” —Naguib Mahfouz

(6) EDITORS’ NOTE

As always, your contributions are what make this TACTics Journal. Please continue to share so that we all may maintain our POOGI. Thanks!

Send HYPERLINK to:

bucknek@resa.net

_ redwards@sault.com NEW ADDRESS!!!

Send mail to:

Cheryl A. Edwards

2253 S. Hill Island Road

Cedarville, MI 49719 USA