TACTics Journal

A Publication for and by TOC for Education Practitioners

March 3, 2000

CONTENTS:

            WIZDOM

                  (1) A Very Special Remark, Gila Glatter

            NETWORKING

                  (2) Never Ending Story… Chapter 3, Kathy Suerken

                CONNECTIONS

                      (3) News from Singapore!,Kathy Suerken

                  (4) January 2000 Outreach Report, Father Anthony Ranada

                        (5) Working Hard in Monterrey, Alejandrina Gonzalez

            QUOTE

                  (6) James Thurber

            EDITORS’ NOTES

                  (7) For a Formatted Copy of TACTics…, Kay Buckner-Seal, Cheryl A. Edwards

WIZDOM

(1)        A Very Special Remark

By Gila Glatter, Director, Israel

I would like to share a very important remark from Oded Cohen’s lecture to our 4th TOC for Education Club Meeting:

“There are two main subjects we must keep in mind through learning TOC.  One is the structure of the tools.  The second is the communication to others.  First we need to build the knowledge of how to use the tools.  This is very fixed and stable learning.  After we know the formula, we have to employ extensive (INNUMERABLE was Gila’s word) energy to ensure good communications.  We have to keep in mind that meaningful change appears only if we were good listeners and very empathetic to the other sides needs.  We need flexible sense to dance along and not alone.”

 

NETWORKING

(2)        THE NEVER ENDING STORY.... Chapter 3

From Kathy Suerken

Editor's Note: This series is part of a draft student workbook designed to teach the cloud to children from ages 11-14 years, approximately.  In the story, Cindy and Jim, two students in a TACT Life Skills class, are discussing the underlying dilemma behind students’ disagreements: an internal conflict between insisting on what I want and giving the other side what she/he wants.  Parts one and two were published in TACTics February 18 and 25, and are available on the TOCFE web page: www.nwfl.net/suerken/toc/

 

Chapter 3:

 

      "Well, in order to solve problems in a fair way, I must insist on what I want because I'm right!” Jim says.

 

      "Does there ALWAYS have to be a right and a wrong side? Cindy asks.

Sometimes two people look at the same situation or problem and see it very differently and nobody's wrong."  Opening the student workbook to an illustration, she adds, "Let me show you what I mean.  What do you see?" she asks Jim, pointing to a picture of person.  Jim tells Cindy that he sees a beautiful young girl.  "Well, I see an ugly old lady," says Cindy.

 

      "Sorry, but I don't see her.  I ONLY see a beautiful young girl."

 

      "That's what I mean," observes Cindy, pointing out the profile of the ugly lady so that he can see it too.  "Is what you saw wrong or just one-sided? Once we get locked into our point of view, we are so sure we are right that we don't bother to even look at another way of seeing the situation.  When's the last time YOU listened to the other side in an argument?" she teases him.

 

      Tyler, the girlfriend expert, suggests, "Nobody ever listens to the other side in an argument.  We're too busy trying to blame each other."

 

      "Well, sometimes somebody else really is at fault," says Jim.  "It doesn't make sense that I should give the other side what he or SHE— wants,” he adds looking at Cindy, “if that person caused the problem.  That's just not fair."

 

      "And you think the only fair way to solve the problem then is to make them take the blame?"  Cindy pauses before asking another question, "Does blame ever fix a problem?"  Looking at Jim, she adds softly, "Did it fix ours?"

 

      (Out of story-Workbook questions for students:

            1)      What happens when you feel blamed?

            2)      What do you think happens when the other side feels blamed?

            3)      Is blame a good way to solve problems?)

 

Story continues...

"Come on, Jim," Cindy continues, “how does blame make you feel?"

 

      "Embarrassed, stupid.  Especially when somebody else makes you apologize.  That is so humiliating!"

 

      "So, does blame make the situation better or worse?"  The answer is so obvious that Cindy continues with a second question.  "Why do you think we insist on trying to fix the problem by blaming others even when we know it doesn't work?"

 

      "Because if the other side doesn't get blamed, you will, " states Jim speaking from experience.  "Somebody has to be at fault.  That's the only way we know how to start solving the problem.  It's the way we ALWAYS do it."

 

      "Can't we figure out who's involved in the problem in the beginning— at the start of the problem— without making anyone feel stupid or embarrassed?"

 

      "I don't see how."

 

      "Well, the first step is to agree on who is in the problem."

 

      "Oh, here we go again.  You're saying I started it," Jim complains.

 

      "You're not listening.  I only said you were in the problem, not that you started it," she says drawing a line on the board.  Above the line she writes 'my side' and below it, 'other side.'  "Now, we need another way to define the problem— a way that does not use blame.  How do we know there is a problem?"

 

      Jim says, "We're arguing about something.  I want one thing and the other person wants something else. So is that where the problem starts?  As a disagreement between two people who are arguing because they both can't have what they want at the same time?"

 

      "Let's say you and your girlfriend are arguing over how to spend Saturday afternoon," Cindy says. "Your girlfriend wants to go out shopping with her friends and you don't want her to go.  The problem starts just as a situation where there is a conflict between two things— you each think you can't have what you want at the same time."

 

      "But some problems are more complicated than that," Jim says.

 

      "Did they start out complicated or just get complicated because you weren't able to fix them when they were simple conflicts?"

 

      "So how do we fix them when they are simple?  Are we ever going to get to the solution?" Jim says with a hint of frustration?"

 

(End of part three)

CONNECTIONS

(3)        News from Singapore!

From Kathy Suerken, suerken@nwfl.net

 

Linda Trapnell and I have been conducting several seminars in this beautiful Country.  As a result, TOC For Education welcomes our newest TOC trainees who have just completed a workshop on the cloud, negative branch and PRT (IO Map).  With this edition of TACTics, 52 teachers from 12 schools in Singapore will now be reading our newsletter!

 

I am also pleased to want to announce that Dr. Ang Wai Hoong, Division of Psychological Studies, School of Education, Nanyang Technological University  (National Institute of Education) is now Director of TOC for Education, Singapore.  You will get to meet this exceptional educator in Monterrey!

 

On Friday, March 3 we begin an additional 4-day workshop with a group of professors from Nanyang Technological University (School of Education) and local principals.

 

On Saturday we will address 550 teachers and principals at a special event at this university.  Registration had to be closed because the venue is expected to be filled to capacity!

 

Next week you will very much enjoy reading the experiences of one of our Singapore educators who has offered to share excerpts from her "Diary of a Newbie in TACT block!"

 

(4)        January 2000 Outreach Report

From Father Anthony Ranada, Quezon City, Philippines

Excerpts from January 2000 Outreach Report as it relates to TOC:

     Father Anthony has volunteered his time to teach The Theory of Constraints to inmates’ teachers & DECs-NFE teachers of the Literacy Program at QC Jail.

     Kapit Bisig 2000 has drafted their mission statement with congruent programs on the basic philosophy of “restorative justice.”  PRESO is advocating for BJMP to apply conflict resolution methods (like TOCFE above) to bring about peace (from the inside out), which is based on reason and love; not imposed peace (from outside in), which is based on fear.

     Objective 2 of the January 2000 Outreach Report is worded as follows: Work towards the elimination of Gang Conflicts and Riots via Christian Motivation and proven Conflict Resolution tools as found in the Theory of Constraints.

 

(5)            Working Hard in Monterrey

From Alejandrina Gonzalez

Here, in Monterrey, we are working very hard; on one hand, preparing for the

4th Annual TOC for Education International Conference and, on the other hand, attending TACT courses.   We are starting one more course with 18 pre-K teachers and we will make three more presentations to principals of basic education.

 

Aurora and Alejandrina started a project with a private school in which we are working with the whole school community (students, teachers and parents.)  With this project, we are trying to prove that when all persons think using the same process and talk with others that use the same way of thinking, then attitude change is easily achieved and more effective.  As soon as I have more news, I will send you a report.

 

“QUOTE”

(6)     “It is better to ask some of the questions than to know all of the answers.” —James Thurber

 

EDITORS’ NOTES

(7)       For a Formatted Copy of TACTics just log on to our TOCFE website at: www.nwfl.net/suerken/toc/. As always, your contributions are what make this TACTics Journal.  Please continue to share so that we all may maintain our POOGI.  Thanks!

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