WIZDOM
(1) A Very Special Remark, Gila Glatter
NETWORKING
(2) Never Ending Story… Chapter 3, Kathy Suerken
CONNECTIONS
(3) News from Singapore!,Kathy Suerken
(4) January 2000 Outreach Report, Father Anthony Ranada (5) Working Hard in Monterrey, Alejandrina Gonzalez QUOTE (6) James Thurber EDITORS’ NOTES (7) For a Formatted Copy of
TACTics…, Kay Buckner-Seal,
Cheryl A. Edwards (1) A Very Special Remark By Gila
Glatter, Director, Israel
I
would like to share a very important remark from Oded Cohen’s lecture to our 4th
TOC for Education Club Meeting: “There are two main subjects we must keep
in mind through learning TOC. One is
the structure of the tools. The second
is the communication to others. First
we need to build the knowledge of how to use the tools. This is very fixed and stable learning. After we know the formula, we have to employ
extensive (INNUMERABLE was Gila’s word) energy to ensure good
communications. We have to keep in mind
that meaningful change appears only if we were good listeners and very
empathetic to the other sides needs. We
need flexible sense to dance along and not alone.” NETWORKING (2) THE NEVER
ENDING STORY.... Chapter 3 From Kathy Suerken Editor's
Note: This series is part of a draft student workbook designed to teach the
cloud to children from ages 11-14 years, approximately. In the story, Cindy and Jim, two students in
a TACT Life Skills class, are discussing the underlying dilemma behind
students’ disagreements: an internal conflict between insisting on what I want
and giving the other side what she/he wants.
Parts one and two were published in TACTics February 18 and 25, and are
available on the TOCFE web page: www.nwfl.net/suerken/toc/ Chapter
3: "Well,
in order to solve problems in a fair way, I must insist on what I want because
I'm right!” Jim says. "Does
there ALWAYS have to be a right and a wrong side? Cindy asks. Sometimes two people look at the same situation or
problem and see it very differently and nobody's wrong." Opening the student workbook to an
illustration, she adds, "Let me show you what I mean. What do you see?" she asks Jim,
pointing to a picture of person. Jim
tells Cindy that he sees a beautiful young girl. "Well, I see an ugly old lady," says Cindy. "Sorry,
but I don't see her. I ONLY see a
beautiful young girl." "That's
what I mean," observes Cindy, pointing out the profile of the ugly lady so
that he can see it too. "Is what
you saw wrong or just one-sided? Once we get locked into our point of view, we
are so sure we are right that we don't bother to even look at another way of
seeing the situation. When's the last
time YOU listened to the other side in an argument?" she teases him. Tyler,
the girlfriend expert, suggests, "Nobody ever listens to the other side in
an argument. We're too busy trying to
blame each other." "Well,
sometimes somebody else really is at fault," says Jim. "It doesn't make sense that I should
give the other side what he or SHE— wants,” he adds looking at Cindy, “if that
person caused the problem. That's just
not fair." "And
you think the only fair way to solve the problem then is to make them take the
blame?" Cindy pauses before asking
another question, "Does blame ever fix a problem?" Looking at Jim, she adds softly, "Did
it fix ours?" (Out
of story-Workbook questions for students: 1) What happens when you feel blamed? 2) What do you think happens when the other
side feels blamed? 3) Is blame a good way to solve problems?) Story continues... "Come on, Jim," Cindy continues,
“how does blame make you feel?" "Embarrassed,
stupid. Especially when somebody else
makes you apologize. That is so
humiliating!" "So,
does blame make the situation better or worse?" The answer is so obvious that Cindy continues with a second
question. "Why do you think we
insist on trying to fix the problem by blaming others even when we know it
doesn't work?" "Because
if the other side doesn't get blamed, you will, " states Jim speaking from
experience. "Somebody has to be at
fault. That's the only way we know how
to start solving the problem. It's the
way we ALWAYS do it." "Can't
we figure out who's involved in the problem in the beginning— at the start of
the problem— without making anyone feel stupid or embarrassed?" "I
don't see how." "Well,
the first step is to agree on who is in the problem." "Oh,
here we go again. You're saying I
started it," Jim complains. "You're
not listening. I only said you were in
the problem, not that you started it," she says drawing a line on the
board. Above the line she writes 'my
side' and below it, 'other side.'
"Now, we need another way to define the problem— a way that does
not use blame. How do we know there is
a problem?" Jim
says, "We're arguing about something.
I want one thing and the other person wants something else. So is that
where the problem starts? As a
disagreement between two people who are arguing because they both can't have
what they want at the same time?" "Let's
say you and your girlfriend are arguing over how to spend Saturday
afternoon," Cindy says. "Your girlfriend wants to go out shopping
with her friends and you don't want her to go.
The problem starts just as a situation where there is a conflict between
two things— you each think you can't have what you want at the same time." "But
some problems are more complicated than that," Jim says. "Did
they start out complicated or just get complicated because you weren't able to
fix them when they were simple conflicts?" "So
how do we fix them when they are simple?
Are we ever going to get to the solution?" Jim says with a hint of
frustration?" (End of part three) (3) News from Singapore! From Kathy Suerken,
suerken@nwfl.net Linda Trapnell and I have been conducting several seminars in this
beautiful Country. As a result, TOC For
Education welcomes our newest TOC trainees who have just completed a workshop
on the cloud, negative branch and PRT (IO Map). With this edition of TACTics, 52 teachers from 12 schools in
Singapore will now be reading our newsletter! I am also pleased to want to announce that Dr. Ang Wai Hoong,
Division of Psychological Studies, School of Education, Nanyang Technological
University (National Institute of
Education) is now Director of TOC for Education, Singapore. You will get to meet this exceptional
educator in Monterrey! On Friday, March 3 we begin an additional 4-day workshop with a
group of professors from Nanyang Technological University (School of Education)
and local principals. On Saturday we will address 550 teachers and principals at a
special event at this university.
Registration had to be closed because the venue is expected to be filled
to capacity! Next week you will very much enjoy reading the experiences of one
of our Singapore educators who has offered to share excerpts from her
"Diary of a Newbie in TACT block!" (4) January 2000 Outreach Report From
Father Anthony Ranada, Quezon City, Philippines Excerpts
from January 2000 Outreach Report as it relates to TOC: • Father
Anthony has volunteered his time to teach The Theory of Constraints to inmates’
teachers & DECs-NFE teachers of the Literacy Program at QC Jail. • Kapit
Bisig 2000 has drafted their mission statement with congruent programs on the
basic philosophy of “restorative justice.” PRESO is advocating for BJMP to apply conflict resolution
methods (like TOCFE above) to bring about peace (from the inside out), which is
based on reason and love; not imposed peace (from outside in), which is based
on fear. • Objective 2 of the January 2000 Outreach Report is worded as
follows: Work towards the elimination of Gang Conflicts and Riots via Christian
Motivation and proven Conflict Resolution tools as found in the Theory of
Constraints. (5) Working
Hard in Monterrey From
Alejandrina Gonzalez Here, in Monterrey, we are working very hard; on one hand,
preparing for the 4th
Annual TOC for Education International Conference and, on the other hand,
attending TACT courses. We are
starting one more course with 18 pre-K teachers and we will make three more
presentations to principals of basic education. Aurora and Alejandrina started a project with a private school in
which we are working with the whole school community (students, teachers and
parents.) With this project, we are
trying to prove that when all persons think using the same process and talk
with others that use the same way of thinking, then attitude change is easily
achieved and more effective. As soon as
I have more news, I will send you a report. “QUOTE” (6) “It is
better to ask some of the questions than to know all of the answers.” —James
Thurber EDITORS’ NOTES (7) For a
Formatted Copy of TACTics just log on to our TOCFE
website at: www.nwfl.net/suerken/toc/. As always, your contributions are what
make this TACTics Journal. Please
continue to share so that we all may maintain our POOGI. Thanks! Send HYPERLINK to: bucknek@resa.net redwards@sault.com NEW ADDRESS!!! Send
mail to: Cheryl A. Edwards 2253 S. Hill Island Road Cedarville,
MI 49719 USAWIZDOM
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