REQUEST
(1) Call for Curriculum Applications to be
shared at Conference 2000, Kathy
Suerken
WIZDOM
(2) Anne’s Cloud, Part I, Denise Meyer
(3) Diary
of a Newbie in TACT Block, Wong
Siew Shan
NETWORKING
(4) Continued Reflections/Discussions on the
Never Ending Story…, Kathy Suerken
Elementary/Secondary TACTS
(5) Scenarios for Classroom Practice, Denise Meyer
CONNECTIONS
(6) 4th
Annual TOC for Education International Conference
(7) TOC for Education in Action
EDITORS’ NOTE
(8) Kay Buckner-Seal and Cheryl Edwards
(1) Call for Curriculum Applications to be shared at Conference 2000
By Kathy Suerken
Have you used any of the TOC tools in teaching curriculum?
A curriculum content strand is being developed for our 4th International TOCFE
Conference. Your work can be shared formally (a presentation) or informally
(hand-out examples/case studies). Presentations
can be as short as 10 minutes or as long as 50 minutes. We are seeking
ideas at any stage of development (work in progress).
Please carefully consider including YOUR idea(s) in the development of these
TOC applications which are so essential to improving the way we teach and
learn. What a way to make a lasting and far-reaching difference in
education!!!! Contact Kathy at suerken@nwfl.net.
(2) Anne’s
Cloud, Part I
By Denise Meyer,
Los Angeles, CA, USA
Anne worked as a special resource teacher at a year-round school. She had struggled to get an education and a good job when she became a single mom at the age of 21. She had gotten married but it hadn’t worked out and now she was raising her son alone with some help and support from her mother.
Anne was having many difficulties with her teenage son and felt that she needed some help. She had been to counselors, talked with her sister and friends asking for advice, read books on assertive discipline and was trying to implement all the things they had advised her to do. But, either they didn’t work or she didn’t know how to do it all consistently. More and more her son, Jaime, was talking back and not respecting her authority. At one of the school staff meetings, she heard about a course in conflict resolution. There would be a presentation at a neighboring school. Maybe this would help her with her son. Besides, conflict resolution was something she had always wanted to include in her work with students. It might be a good thing to learn. She decided to go to the presentation.
She
was very impressed with the presentation.
The examples of work done by students in the area of conflict
resolution, the graphic organizers, and the comments that came from teachers
who had used the program with students were very impressive. This was different from other programs she
had seen. Where other programs told
students to stop, think, and brainstorm solutions, this one told them how to
think and come up with solutions that really addressed the underlying needs in
the conflicts. In addition, there
seemed to be a component that helped students see how their own actions
affected outcomes and how they could take responsibility for changing negative
outcomes. She decided she wanted to
attend the training for the program.
The
initial presentation was in November and the actual class would only take place
in February. Being a year round
employee, she had vacations that were flexible so she could service all the
students at the school. She decided to
ask her boss if she could switch her vacation time to go to the training. He usually tried to accommodate special
needs of employees. She knew that
planning ahead of time would help her and felt comfortable asking him. She was right. He said, “No problem. As
a matter of fact, a course in resolving conflict will enhance your job skills. You can take the course on work time. Maybe when you come back you can share some
of what you learned with the rest of the staff.” This was wonderful news and Anne was really happy.
About
a week before the course was going to start, Mr. Alvarez asked her to attend a
reading conference on Wednesday morning of the same week as the training! “But that’s the week I’m going to be at the
Conflict Resolution Training!” she reminded him.
“Well,
you know how those week-long things usually are. You can skip one morning to attend the conference.” Anne didn’t respond. She felt angry and frustrated at being asked
to change her plans. She really didn’t
see why she needed to go to the conference.
She wasn’t the only person on the Literacy Committee and there were
other teachers who could go.
On
Monday of the training week she went to the class. It was wonderful! She
learned a new way to look at conflicts.
Conflicts do not occur because people are mean and malicious, but rather
because they are working from different needs that they are trying to
satisfy. Although our needs are not in
conflict, our way of meeting those needs may be. When her son was arguing with her over going out with his friends
and she was arguing for him to stay home, there were important needs each one
of them was trying to satisfy, like his social needs and her need to keep him
safe. There was nothing wrong with the
needs. They just had to find ways to
make sure their needs were met without clashing over how.
On
the second day she began to realize how important the skills she was learning
were. The more she thought about the
conference that she was supposed to attend on Wednesday morning, the more upset
she became at the request. She began to
realize that this was one of those times she should be using the new tools she
had learned. But she felt too unsure of
her own understanding of the tools to use them in a real life situation.
She
began to rationalize not going to herself.
After all, she hadn’t really said she was going to attend. They had sort of left it up in the air. Mr. Alvarez hadn’t told her the exact time
of the conference or where it was and she knew there were some other teachers
that would be attending. Surely, if he
really expected her to be there, he would have told her these things. Maybe she could just not go. This was the easiest and customary way she
dealt with conflict. She didn’t want to
cause a big fuss by confronting him with the fact that he had promised her she
could go to this training three months ago.
She did not want to confront him directly and then be told to “be
there.” She would just let it
slide. Maybe he wouldn’t really miss
her. Probably not. Surely her presence wasn’t that crucial.
Wednesday
came around and she had convinced herself that the minor upset of her boss was
not as important as the course and decided not to attend the conference. After the session, she was glad she had
stayed but felt very uncomfortable about her next encounter with Mr.
Alvarez.
Thursday
came. The class was really interesting
and she was learning a lot. But again,
inside of her was that uncomfortable feeling that she had not been up front
with the principal. She hated that
feeling. She decided at the end of the
day to stop by the school and apologize and explain her behavior.
As
she arrived, she saw him in the office.
The minute he saw her he said, “We missed you on Wednesday.”
“I’m
sorry. I wasn’t really sure that you
needed me. And anyway, I didn’t know
when the meeting was,” she answered.
“You
could have called,” he responded. “And
by the way, I’m having a staff meeting in the morning and I expect you to be
there. Nine o’clock as usual.”
Anne knew
better than to respond to him. She left
the room and sat down at one of the desks in the office. Almost everyone had gone home and she was
feeling close to tears. One more time,
he was taking her time away from what she wanted to be doing. He was being so insensitive. She had asked him in November if she could
do this and here at the last minute he was imposing his will on her. He just wanted to prove how powerful he
was. He didn’t really need her
there. She was so furious!…To be
continued, TACTics, April 14.
(3) Diary of
a Newbie in TACT Block
Wong Siew Shan, Vice-Principal, Jing Shan
Primary School, Singapore
Editor’s Note: The first two entries of “Diary of a Newbie in TACT Block” dated 24.2.2000 and 26.2.2000 were published in TACTics, March 10, 2000. We are proud to publish two more entries of Shan’s powerful and most inspiring work in this week’s TACTics.
28.2.2000
After
recess, two boys were sent to my room.
Joel for calling Alex names and Alex for using vulgar language and
biting Joel on his arm till it bled. Previously, I would have mourned inwardly
and handled the problem before sending them back to their classes. After they leave my room, I would file their
case sheets in the “Misbehaviour File” for future reference. But today, I was looking forward to
empowering these two boys to resolve their own conflict.
It
was heartening to note how easily they got the hang of how to use the Cloud
template. After writing that to have fun,
he needed to call Alex names, Joel immediately looked at me sheepishly and said
that it wasn’t really true! On surfacing his assumptions, he himself saw that
they did not stand up to scrutiny. In
fact, he came up with his own injection and said that he could invite Alex to
play with him. Joel could also
understand Alex’s need to be respected.
He promised not to call Alex names again.
The
situation also lent itself very much to the use of the Negative Branch. As the incident has just occurred and he was
one of the main characters in it, Joel could draw the NBr very fast. In fact he extrapolated and said, “If we are
sent to the VP’s office, we will miss out on revision. If we miss out on revision, we will not do
well at CA. If we do not do well in CA,
everybody is unhappy.” In introducing
the NBr technique and helping Joel and Alex think through the negative aspects
of their behaviour by themselves, I sincerely believe I have given them a
framework on which they can critically assess any intended plans of action in
the future and modify them accordingly before carrying them out. It seems a very simple tool but one that
would have far-reaching impact on both their lives if they internalise it. In
empowering them, I have empowered myself.
And it felt wonderful!
Both
boys apologised to each other for the hurt they have caused the opposite
party. They were very specific about
what they were sorry for— they have been surfaced very visually on the cloud. I could tell they really meant it from the
bottom of their hearts. They promised
that they would never hurt each other in the same way. I believed them totally. Conflicts are bound to happen sometimes but
I trust that they would not have to experience the same conflict situation
again with each other. If they have the
same conflict with another, I am confident that they would know how to resolve
it because they have been empowered with the tools.
Satisfied
with the way the case turned out, I wondered how I could further work on
Caroline that night. Shall I refine the
cloud further? Shall I continue with the cloud and complete the injection? Shall I do the N.Br with her? Finally, I told myself to take things as
they come.
[Editor’s Note: Shan shared her first experience with using the cloud with her daughter Caroline in TACTics 3/10/2000. The conflict they were working on was : Read storybooks before doing homework/read storybooks after doing homework.]
On
reaching home at 7.00 PM that evening, I was upset that I couldn’t have my bath
because Caroline was bathing. She has
been specifically instructed to bathe before 7:00 p.m. Raising my voice a decibel, I asked,
“Caroline, why didn’t you bathe earlier?”
In
answer to my question, she rattled off all the homework that she has completed
for the day. She asked, “You did ask me
to set my priorities didn’t you?”
Incredulously,
I asked, “You mean you have completed all your homework?”
“Well,
almost. I still have 2 sentences to write.”
Just at that moment, she opened the bathroom door. Impulsively, I gave her a big bear hug. I haven’t done that in a long time!
So
what actually happened? Months of
nagging had not worked. The cloud helped us to clarify our needs to each other
and work through our assumptions. Surfacing the needs and assumptions helped
both of us to understand why we do or do not do certain things. It has also
enabled a deeper understanding and insight into each other’s needs. In this
case, I have verbalised my reasoning that completing the homework before
reading storybooks is better time management. Also she needs to set her
priorities. Although!! I didn’t belabour the point, it must have convinced her
to change at least for the day. Maybe she is just trying out this new way of
doing things to see if it has its merits. Whatever her reasons, I am thankful
for this positive reaction after months of passivity.
29.2.2000
My
confidence in the use of the Cloud and the NBr has grown tremendously, fuelled
by the positive results that I receive in all my attempts. Today, I decided to take on a bigger
challenge. I had my Math Remedial Class
today. “Good opportunity to practise on
them,” I told myself gleefully. But truthfully,
if my need were only to practise on them, I would not have wasted 20 minutes of
21 of my students’ life. I have this
strong conviction that this investment would reap a harvest far more valuable
than we can fathom. Can we ever
quantify the value of a gift that will affect ourselves, our family members,
our friends, our colleagues at the workplace, the nation and in turn the world?
I
worked through the Cloud with them. The conflict was that students did not want
to do their corrections and I want them to do their corrections. We went on to use the NBr. I was quite surprised that they could think
of the cause and effect in the chain quite easily. All I did was to help focus them with relevant questions. Although we had not been taught the PBr, I
tried to use my own brand of it. All in
all, it was a very satisfying experience.
I hope that I will see some changes by 3.3.2000 when I have my next
class with these pupils. But even if I
see no concrete results or positive indications, I would not say that I have
engaged 20 minutes of every student in vain.
They would have been exposed to 3 powerful focusing tools and gone
through the problem-solving process, which they could use to think through
behaviours so that they could begin to make responsible choices.
As
I was reflecting on the Math lesson that afternoon, Desiree (my 10-year-old
daughter) came into my bedroom. “Mum,
can you write a letter to my Chinese Language teacher, requesting for
permission for me to join her Chinese Remedial lessons?”
My
first reaction was one of total disbelief. Which child in her right mind would want
to attend remedial classes if she has not been chosen? “Why would you want to join the Chinese
Remedial lessons?” I asked
Desiree. “The fact that you have not
been asked to attend remedial sessions shows that you are doing relatively
well. Therefore, I don’t see why I should waste my time writing the letter for
you!” Oops! How insensitive I could be
at times. I realised it too late. I tried to retrieve my words but it was too
late.
I
noticed Desiree’s eyes turn red as a drop of tear rolled down her cheeks.
It tore my heart to see how much I had
upset her by my total disregard for her needs.
I said, “Being able to attend the Chinese remedial lessons is really
very important to you, isn’t it? Have
you thought about the whole issue very, very seriously? Are you aware that it would reflect very
badly on you and me if you decide later that you really don’t want to attend
the remedial sessions?” She nodded to
indicate that she had. “Would you like
to do a cloud for this little dilemma of yours? Maybe you could also convince
me about writing your teacher the letter you requested for.”
So
it was that Desiree drew her first cloud that night. Her cloud revealed to me some of her feelings about the learning
of Chinese that had never before been revealed to me. Her cloud communicated to me her insecurities about learning the
Chinese Language and her quest to do better in a subject that I thought she was
doing well in— that’s what I call self-motivation! I never knew that she was feeling frustrated because she couldn’t
get any help in Chinese at home—!! somehow her feelings had never been
verbalised before. Well, we never had
this wonderful tool called the Evaporating Cloud back then!
More of “Diary of a Newbie in TACT Block,” by Wong Siew Shan will be published in next week's TACTics.
NETWORKING
(4) TOC now and in the
future...the Never Ending discussion continues!
By
Kathy Suerken
Let's summarize
where we are:
We agree that we want to solve problems where they begin. Are there
obstacles to so doing? Can they be overcome if we identify the
conflict where it begins? In the story example in both Session 1 of TACT and in
THE NEVER ENDING STORY workbook for students, we suggest the conflict begins
when the students both want the same desk...not when the situation escalates
and becomes part of another problem. In the story for Session 1 of TACT
and the student workbook, we model how to guide the students back to the very
beginning of the problem. To write the cloud (both wants and needs)
before it gets complicated by other issues.
But which is the day-to-day problem? The one that is simple or the one
which has escalated? What do you think?
Do you agree that we tend not to notice problems until they escalate? Therefore, we also tend to identify
them (in other words, define d and d') by where the problem is when we notice
it--by where it leads rather than where it begins. Because we associate 'day-to-day problems' with these more
complicated problems, I prefer to think of Session 1 as the application of TOC
to 'simple problems.' If that does not sound like an enticing enough
application, let's consider it as 'conflict prevention'-an application of TOC
to nip conflicts in the bud before they become complicated
'differences of perception.'
That terminology is exactly how Mary Ellen Bourbeau characterized this
application when we were testing it with a group of 8th grade students at
Purcell's Middle School where she is a counselor in Grosse Pointe,
Michigan. "This is exactly the
application I need! " she excitedly told me.
Marina Rodriguez in Monterrey, Mexico echoed her response as she read and
endorsed the new story for Session 1. "This application addresses
just the behavior that is so often experienced and accepted as normal behavior
in classrooms. And yet it leads to so many problems for teachers. We need to intervene at this early
stage."
Yes, but...will it lead to sustainable results? Does it make sense
that if kids learn how to solve problems before they escalate, they will be
less likely to accumulate 'deeper' problems?
What about those who already have the deeper problems? In my
experience, a mediation that guides students to identify problems before they
escalate not only enables them to successfully fix the problem at
hand (and experience win/win) but also models a process for the next
time. I have many examples of students who begin to use the process on
their own as a result.
Also, there is additional value which comes from writing a first cloud with
someone else. That experience preempts a lot of erroneous assumptions
about the other side's needs or, at least, provides opportunity to immediately
challenge those assumptions. Either way, it opens communications very
fast.
I agree with Francis Su's injections, however, to ensure both short and long
term solutions. If we mediate 'everyday' conflicts between two
people as simply and tangibly (and Socratically!) as possible, they are more
likely to follow through on solutions to that problem. In order to
ensure that those
two people are able to solve the next problem, they need to understand the
process itself. In other words, in order to bring improvements
now and in the future, we need to mediate the conflict between the two parties
as a simple conflict if at all possible and to teach the process itself to the
student. Since we teach by example, the
mediation process itself is an excellent first lesson for the student.
Perhaps then we will hear more stories like the one shared by Eli at our 1999
International Conference. He told of a kindergarten class in Israel
where the cloud elements exist on mats for the students to use when there is
conflict. One student approached another on a peacekeeping
mission! Pulling the cloud mat up to
his classmate, he suggested: "Let's get on the mat. I'm about to
have a conflict with you!"
Please share thoughts and comments with Kathy: suerken@nwfl.net
By Denise Meyer,
Los Angeles, CA. USA
“The following
are the "simple" day to day conflicts according to middle school
students. What a commentary on our
society. How important is our work!”
—Denise
Editor’s Note: The following scenarios can be used in the classroom as a springboard for identifying conflicts, constructing clouds, and/or surfacing needs and assumptions. Try them in your classroom, then share the results in next weeks TACTics. Send to: bucknek@resa.net
Scenario 1—
Today the teacher plans on putting us in groups to work on a project. He wants to put me in a group that I don’t want to work with. Tony is in this group. I don’t want to be in a group with him. Why can’t we choose who we want to work with?
Scenario 2—
I have a friend who has a very short temper. Yesterday, when I was late and she had to wait for me for a few minutes, she got very upset. She called me a name that I didn’t like at all. I don’t want her to do that again.
(6) 4th Annual TOC for Education
International Conference
Sheraton
Ambassador Hotel
Monterrey, Mexico
August 9-12, 2000
Lodging:
(*Room rates are based on single OR double occupancy.)
Classic
room— $86(+tax) For more
than two people to a room, there is a $15.00 charge for each extra person.
Executive
room—$116(+tax) For more than two people to a room there is a $25.00 charge
for each extra person.
Registration for conference rates must be
made before July 25. After this
date, rooms will be released and on a space available basis. Make reservations directly with the hotel by
identifying yourself as a member of TOC for Education.
To
make reservations from:
• Mexico
— (direct to the hotel): 1.800.832.8400
• USA & Canada— (central
reservation): 1.800.325.3535
• Nations
outside of North America—(switchboard): 528.380.7000
(7) TOC for Education in Action
Upgrade TACT Workshop, Elementary Teachers
Gila Glatter
Pedagogical Center Netanya
14 meetings
April-June
TOC for Ed Club Meeting
Kfar-Amakabiya, Ramat-Gan
May 4
Second Annual TOC for Education Conference/Israel
Country Club, Cuntry-Class, Tel-Aviv
May 26
TACT Workshop
Gila Glatter, Nava Wies, Rami Goldratt
June 25-29
July 1-6
Upgrading with the Tools in Texts
(for better use in classrooms)
Tel-Aviv and Petach-Tikva
Rami Goldratt, Gila Glatter, Nava Wies
August 25-26
Upgrade: How to Make Good Decisions
Petach-Tikva
Dr. Limor Winter-Kraemer
August 25-26
TACT Workshop
Mofet Institute, Tel-Aviv
Gila Glatter
September 3-7
TOCFE POOGI Workshop.
Eleanor May-Brenneker
May 2000.
10 TACT Workshops hosted by the Makati City
Division of the Department of Education and Sports and Culture
June 19-24
July 26-July 1
*Please
note: These classes were originally scheduled for April.
Avante Garde Conference in Moscow
Galina Doyla and David Higgins
April 18, 2000
TACT Facilitators Class
Taught by Kathy Suerken
The Singapore Center for Teaching Thinking
-National Institute of Education
June 19-23
Nanayang Technological University
Public Address given by Kathy Suerken
June 24
TACT Class for Elementary and Junior-High
School Teachers
Chiao-Tung University, Hsinchu
Frances Su
Wednesdays, April 12-May 31
Session 1 “Resolving Day to Day Conflicts”
University of Liggett School, Grosse Pointe
Woods, MI
Mary Ellen Bourbeau and Doug Roby
April 7
Session 2- Thinking Through Consequences
University of Liggett School, Grosse Pointe
Woods, MI
Mary Ellen Bourbeau and Doug Roby
April 15
Cloud Training— Resolving Day to Day
Conflicts
Los Angeles Unified School District, CA
Denise Meyer, Remedeas Kelly-Weekes
April 28, 29, May 5
TACT Workshop for Resource Coordinating
Team Members
Joy Middle School Detroit Public Schools,
MI
Larry Till
May 3
TACT Workshop
St. Clair Community College, MI Teacher
Institute
Larry Till
June 30
Summer TACT Workshops
St. Clair Community College, MI
Larry Till
Registration: Carol Nickles at
810.989.5740— CEU’s available
We would like to thank Denise Meyer, Los
Angeles and Wong Siew Shan, Singapore for their contributions to this week's
TACTics. To our entire TOCFE Family,
please continue to share so that we all may maintain our POOGI. Have a pleasant week!
Send HYPERLINK to:
bucknek@resa.net
redwards@sault.com NEW E-MAIL ADDRESS!
Send mail to:
Cheryl
A. Edwards
2253
S. Hill Island Road
Cedarville, MI 49719 USA